If my wife, mom, husband, or dad dies – and then the person remaining here gets remarried or falls in love again – who do they end up with in heaven?
This question is not uncommon. “Who do they end up with in heaven?”, always strikes a nerve close to home with me. I can honestly say I lost a lot of sleep and suffered greatly with this as a child.
My mom died when I was 12
My mother became terminally ill when I was nine. She suffered tremendously with cancer. She clung to life, surviving experimental treatments alone in a hospital, for years. She passed when I was 12. She was 39.
Before my mom became ill, our little family was the picture of happiness. We lived in a Cape house by the ocean. We were rich in love and laughter. For me, it was heaven.
When my mom got sick, every part of our lives came apart.
Barely a teenager when my mom died, I struggled with the questions of “Why?” “Why would God take the mother of four little ones?” “Why would God take someone so young?” Why would God take someone I love so much?” “Why did she have to suffer like that?” I cried tortured tears into the night, needing to know: “Where is she?” “Is she all right?” “Is she still suffering?” “Is she alone?”
Beyond the wrenching grief of my youth – and my concern for what my family was living through – I truly struggled with the dynamics of heaven. I struggled with how it all might work.
I worried greatly.
I lived and breathed a deep longing and a deep fear. Beyond the questions of death itself, and the youth of my mom, there was a lingering fear of never seeing her again.
My fear of never seeing my mom again was also expressed as a fear of my mom being abandoned somehow, because my dad would become close with or marry another woman. I thought maybe my mom perhaps would suffer jealousy in heaven…and suffer alone.
My sisters and I clung to an intense dream. The vision was we would all die someday and be together just as it was sitting around the chrome edged kitchen table, in our oceanside home, smiling and loving our family. We had lost too much. At least, we all begged God inside ourselves, don’t take away our dream…our desperate longing…to have our version of heaven back. To somehow, someday be a happy family again in heaven.
We certainly didn’t want strangers around, or some strange woman in our house. We did not want to be together in heaven with a stranger. Any idea other than what we thought of as OUR heaven with our family did not seem fair, true, loving or acceptable.
We didn’t understand heaven and how it really works.
I was spinning in anguish. I can truly say it still stings, to think about the gyrations of my own adolescence, and to think about the fears and misunderstanding surrounding those days.
My father remarried.
Joseph Shiel is a highly acclaimed Evidential Medium, Spirit Artist, Psychic and award-winning teacher. Internationally known for his accuracy, integrity and commitment to others, he has devoted his life to service of Spirit and those seeking love, healing and growth. He shares his remarkable talents with students, clients and audiences around the world; teaching, speaking, healing and performing private and public demonstrations of evidential mediumship and Spirit Art deemed by many as 'Portraits from Heaven.' His exceptionally rare gifts make him one of the most sought after mediums, consulting for politicians, CEO's, celebrities and all those seeking healing and insight.